Fight for what's right

My whole career so far, has been a fight, a fight for my rights as an artist, a fight for everything. I have been taught that you have to communicate to someone when you have a problem, you have to fight to be treated right.

Today a person from the year book pulled me out of class to do a short interview over Pride&Prejudice. I just told her that I don't feel comfortable doing an interview when there are no pictures of my cast's performance in the year book. I can't let them think that it was okay that they only sent a photographer for one cast. There were a lot of great people in my cast that did a fantastic job and we have all been kind of gypped by not getting recognized for the three months we spent on that show.

Lately, I have been questioning myself a lot. I may not need to justify my career choices to other people, but I have to be able to "justify" them to myself. The thing I have rediscovered, is that movies, and TV, and music reach more people than anything else in the entire world. These things can be really powerful, they can influence people, and if they are done right, this is a really good thing. I have spent the last two weeks watching probably about 12 movies, and each one I watched touched something in me, reminded me why I have always been drawn to this industry. It can be a beautiful place, and I just want to be a part of that.

Movies Movies Movies

Unscheduled snow day.
Thank the Lord

Kassie's Birthday party

Movies I watched yesterday :)

Don't Know Why (Cover)

This is what I have to show for after doing 22 takes. I am so lucky to have a father who is willing to sit and listen to me sing(and mess up) the same song 21 times.

No School, just practice.

This Valentine’s Day I am single

 And although most people get really bent out of shape about not having a boyfriend on February 14th, I am completely okay with it. I have been through a lot this last year and while it has been pretty rough, ultimately, I am glad that it happened. I have learned a lot about myself and the things I deem acceptable in a person. I think that is a huge step in the right direction. 

I spent my Valentine’s Day this year at musical practice and then had dinner with one of my good friends, Amber. So even though society seems to think that I need a man in my life in order for this day to be a relevant holiday for me, I am content with being “alone” and appreciating the amazing people I have in my life. 

Happy Valentine’s Day from Oklahoma everyone<3

Happy Monday :)

So, Sabrie and I realized that we are going to have to go shopping before she moves because we borrow each other's clothes too often. A lot is changing. Am I ready for it?

SundaySunday

All I have done today is play "Don't know why" by Norah Jones (which will be my next cover) and watch The Walking Dead marathon. I should really go read The Jungle for a couple hours and get caught up on all of that, but it is just so hard today. It is beautiful outside and I have the music bug big time today. So, maybe I will read, or maybe I will read some other day, but right now, I am really enjoying my Sunday.

Tell Me a Lie - One Direction Cover

Things in my life right now

1. I took my ACT this morning.

2. In six months, I am going to live in New York for 4 weeks for school, and my sister is moving half way across the country, to Philly.

3. There are 3 and a half weeks left of musical practice, and we started running the show last week! I feel as if there is all the time in the world. By the time performance week rolls around, we are going to know this show like the back of our hands.

4. I should be posting some covers for youtube pretty soon. I am supposed to record "Tell me a lie" by One Direction today, and then in a couple more weeks we will record "I don't know why" by Norah Jones. I am also learning "Homeward Bound" by Simon && Garfunkel, which is going to be really hard but really exciting. I don't see the point in learning something easy, I might as well challenge myself, and this is the perfect song for the job.

5. After musical, I might start taking a jazz/ballet class. I am really nervous just thinking about it, but I know it is something that I need to do.

6. Walking Dead comes back tomorrow<3

Trip Fil-A

I had dinner with Amber&&Kevin tonight :) It was lovely<3

February 5th is obviously not my day

Burned my hand on my curling iron

put my tights on inside out

went home sick in 3rd hour

musical practice

guitar lessons

english homework

The Jungle

sleep sleep sleep

water

sleep.

Go on youtube and look up

Scott Avett sings "November Blue"

I can feel his voice in my bones. <3

I Would Be Sad

You know me; I've always been the kind with easy confidence. 
Confident enough to honestly beleive that nothing out there stopping me especially not someone who's not loving me.
Now listen here I told you I could live on with out loving you. 
I was bluffing then, but it seems that just might have been the truth.
Well my dad told me, "One day son, this girl will think of what she's done and hurting you will be the first of many more regrets to come." 
And he said, "If she doesn't call, then it's her fault and it's her loss."
I say, "It's not that simple see, but then again it just may be."

- The Avett Brothers
     I Would Be Sad



It's been a long couple of days. 

I had a dream last night, that I was with a bunch of drama kids and we all went to one of their house's and then you were there. There was this awkward silence where everyone was just kind of looking at me to see how I would react. Even in my dream I cried. I went into the other room and you followed me and we got in this huge fight. We were screaming at each other and I was balling. At the end of the dream, we fixed everything and we could both finally breath because everything was out on the table. There was no more tension.

It has been a really emotional day for me.

To say the least.

Blue Like Jazz

I read the book Blue Like Jazz by Don Miller, two Summers ago in a car on the way home from Colorado. My parents were sitting in the front seat with the windows rolled down because while we were out of town the AC in our car went out. I was sitting in the backseat next to a cooler filled with bottled water and Diet Rite, with a blanket on my lap and my pillow with it's purple patterned pillowcase sitting next to me. We were listening to the Cd Emotionalism by The Avett Brothers. I spent that Summer memorizing that Cd. I turned it on when I took showers in the basement of my Aunt's cabin in CO and hummed the melodies as I washed my hair. I fell asleep every night listening to The Sparrow and the Crow by William Fitzsimmons partly because it was soothing and partly because it drowned out the snoring that arose from my parents, nearly 15feet away from where I slept. That Summer I wrote the song I'm All In and started the journey of figuring out that I could actually pursue this as a career, and in fact, I would be insane not to because there is nothing else in the world I wanted (and still want) more. Reading Blue Like Jazz with the cool breeze brushing over me and the mountains out my window, I discovered what it really means to love people. That book changed, or rather, enhanced what I knew about being a Christian and what it really meant to love everyone. The reason I am bringing all of this up, is because I just watched Blue Like Jazz the movie (which came out in 2012). I had no idea it was a movie, and watching it today curled up with a blanket and pillow, I could feel the mountain air and hear faintly The Avett Brothers singing about shame, with the kind of harmony that is only found when two brothers sing about something they care about. I came home that Summer with a head full of songs and a fresh breath of air that I found in the lungs of Blue Like Jazz.

Les Mis. & Friends

Last night after practice Amber, Kevin, Kassie, Taylor, Hayden, and I went to Christina's house to watch Les Mis. and devour our weight in pizza. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

February 1st.
My day looks like this :
-School
-Musical Practice
-Les Mis. watch party at Christina's house
-Home
-Read/homework/scholarships/other important things
-Sleep<3

Happy February :)